Well tonight I called Mr. Goodcents to try to talk to the manager about my application. The guy who answered told me the manager was busy and if I left a number he would give it to him and he'd call me back later that night. Well, he never called and they're already closed. Oh well, I honestly don't really care. I'll have to call back in a couple days but I'm not in a huge rush. If no place ever wants to hire me again for the rest of my life then fine. I watched Law & Order: TBJ tonight, it was awful...just awful, sickeningly awful. I feel like I'm going to puke just thinking of how bad it was.
I really need to go grocery shopping, there is absolutely no food here. I have a muffin and some pudding and other random snacks, but no actual food. Whenever I go to the grocery store I always end up getting pointless things that I can't eat for actual meals and then I end up ordering in. My favorite eyeshadow broke two days ago, Hard Candy Uzi ;; God, I am still pissed at myself. I'm a klutz and just dropped it and it cracked. It's still useable but it's just all broken into pieces and looks ugly. So to make up for it I ordered a few things from Urban Decay last night, although Uzi was sold out. I still want to work at Mac, but I have no car or way of transportation so it just wouldn't work out. I am pretty sure I'd get hired. I mean, this isn't Hollywood or anything where you have to have amazing make-up skills, this is land of the rednecks where no one knows anything about make-up.
I can't wait to go back to Florida. While there are a lot of economical and long-term reasons why it's good to go back there, I mainly just want to be near my mom and Andrea. And my mom's cat, Stella, I love that cat.
I'm tired, bored, I am going stir-crazy, I need to get out of this damn house. I think I have a fever.
God, Livejournal is so boring...I'm an idiot and slept through my doctor's appointment yesterday, so no more vicodin for me for awhile ;; Just half a bottle left...
You are not fucked up. Your life is not exceptionally worse than the average person. You're not special and do not deserve special attention because you get sad sometimes and your psychiatrist diagnosed you with depression. Depression isn't a disease. Everyone gets depressed, it's called being a human being. Do you ever feel lazy? Well maybe you are cursed with the couch-potato disease and need medicine because of it. Do you have any idea how much money corporations are making off of people's "depression"? There are other ways to improve your life than taking a fucking pill, which are usually barely more effective than placebos anyway.
No one is truly happy. Depression is not uncommon. Even if you have suffered a traumatic incident in your life (abusive family, rape, near-death experience) it still doesn't make you an exception. Things like that happen to a lot of people. I think there are some exceptions, but for the most part I think people just wallow in self-pity way more than they need to. For God's sake, there have been ex-POW's that have come back to find out that their wives divorced them and their kids taken from them, and they have been able to one day get back into the swing of things and lead a normal life and not wallow in self-pity and despair until the day they die. Stop spending all your time thinking, "God, I am so fucked up. People just don't understand." Stop wasting your life away by pretending to be this horribly fucked up person who will never recover when you're not.
STOP ASKING ME HOW TO SPELL MY FUCKING LAST NAME
I have mono, no wonder I'm so tired...
Old news, but still. What Larry Silverstein, owner of the World Trade Centers said about the collapse of the buildings in a PBS documentary:
"I remember getting a call from the, er, fire department commander, telling me that they were not sure they were gonna be able to contain the fire, and I said, 'We've had such terrible loss of life, maybe the smartest thing to do is pull it.'
Strep throat, what's next? ~.~
Eight fillings and a temporary crown today. Only two more fillings, a root canal, a crown, and wisdom teeth extraction to go. Ah, the joy of dentistry.